Doctor Who: Water of Mars

[wealhtheow]

Here's how Russell T Davies's penultimate Doctor Who episode went down:

Doctor: I'm just going to pop into an enclosed base and tell everyone there vague things about how they're all going to die today!
Everyone on the base: um, what?
Doctor: Well that was fun, better be going now.
Evil water: muaahahah!
Everyone on base: oh noes!  The water is evil!
Doctor: Not to worry, we'll just ride this robot to safety while its owner has an amusing seizure!
Everyone on base: Phew!  Quick, let's quarantine the evil water and escape on our rocket.
Doctor: I have a better idea!  Kill yourselves!
Everyone on base: wait, what?
Doctor: Yep, just kill yourselves.  No point in trying to save anyone.  Toodle pip!
Everyone on base: That's...a terrible plan.
Doctor: no no, your deaths inspire humanity into the stars, it's all very moving, now I really must be going--
Evil water: ps, we can get *everywhere*.  Even in places it is physically impossible for us to get.
(Russel T Davies: tee hee, science is hard!)
Everyone on base: ...shit.
Doctor: welp, better get on with the noble suicidal gesture, then!  I'm going to go walk slowly and dramatically away, feeling emo about this.
Everyone on base: Seriously, you're not going to help at *all*?
Doctor: Nah.  I might write some angsty poetry about it later, though.
Everyone on base: is about to die.
Doctor: Wait, that dramatic walk wasn't dramatic enough.  I know! I'll run back into the base just when it's about to explode!  
3 people: are saved.
Doctor:I am so super duper fabu-licious!
Captain Brooke: You suck.  Also, I'm killing myself.
Doctor: is emo about it.

WHY DO THESE EPISODES SUCK SO BAD?  WHYYYYYY?