Dark Knight Rises

[wealhtheow]

The voices Christian Bale and Tom Hardy put on to play Batman and Bane, respectively, were just too, too ridiculous.  Bane sounded like a cranky old English grandpa, and Batman sounded like Abed's parody of him.  No good!  Plus they each spoke solely in silly cliches, which didn't help.

So many plot holes!  Why did Gordan go down into the sewers in the first place? Why did Bane assume Gordan would send all the police officers down into the sewers at once?  Why didn't Bane just kill the police officers, or let them die?  How did Batman get back in Gotham after being in the Pit?  Why did he spend so much time painting a flaming bat on a bridge? Since all Batman needed to do to disable the bomb was A)disrupt the trigger signal and B)physically get the bomb to Fox, there was no need for him to go after Bane at all. Particularly since his entire plan was apparently to just punch the dude a lot--anyone can do that, Batman!  You are not the only puncher in Gotham, ok? 

The fighting was really disappointing--I'm used to animated version of Batman, so I missed his speed and agility.  He moved so heavily, and it was particularly noticable when he was fighting Bane.  Why did he keep fist-fighting with Bane when he knows the other dude is stronger--just use a taser, for goodness sakes!  Or any one of his other billion gadgets!  Weirdly, he had no gadgets aside from his stupid-looking hovercraft (and an EMP that somehow didn't take out Bane's stock-marketing tablet).  And extra-weirdly, despite his famous hatred of guns, he's perfectly happy to use guns if they're mounted on a hovercraft.  Apparently that's ok!

All that said, JGL was a lot of fun as Robin, and I unexpectedly loved Hathaway's Selina Kyle/Catwoman.  Her corset and heels ensemble was terrible, but she sold it well and god knows she was the best actor in the film.  I want her to do a Catwoman movie so bad right now.